English R.I.P

Ethnicism as One of Consideration in Selecting Spouse : Different Tribes, Different Way of Thinking

Different ponds, different fish, that’s proverb says. It seems has been true. In every tribes, there’s such kind of values that has to be sticked together. For example : in Java, the youth has to respect the old by speaking politely ( the language has complicated grammar, depends on to whom we speak), deepen the body when they pass the older people, and many more. In another tribes, like Minang, the woman who should propose the man ( In common culture, the man should propose the woman). Some tribes still recognize matrilineal or patrilineal system. It means that the family from both husband and wife don’t stay in balance. They will love and respect more to the family whom they strictly follow the system.

Especially in Indonesia, parents still have roles, whether  this man is good for their children or not. Although the children have freedom with whom they make friend, but when they are getting married, they should ask for their parents(it’s not a strict rules but most people do this). Parents can’t  “stay away” from their children marriage. It is done because they want all their children and descendant live happily.

Unlike in the other country perhaps, in Indonesia still consider for some things about children marriage. Religion, social status, job and ethnic. Some consider religion, because Indonesian still respect much the religion norms. Indonesian are religious people. They don’t recognize atheis. In addition, in the Indonesian law doesn’t legalize the different religion marriage. Social status related to job. When they have good job, good salary, automatically, their social status will be higher.

In Indonesia, where there are many tribes who live in, ethnic can cause a trouble sometimes. They have different language, different accent, different way of thinking. For example, Bataks tribe speaks loudly that someone may think that they are rude. Same with Betawi, they speak too directly who are very contrast if we compare with the Javanese. Javanese speak softly and  sometimes use “the intrinsic” language. For the “tongue experience” is also different. The Padangs eat much fat, coconut milk, and chilli. Betawi prefers salty food , a bit acid, and chillious.

When the different tribes meet, sometimes it can be a trouble. Some still consider that their tribes is the best, without appreciating another tribes. They don’t respect each other. If this happens in one home, it’s not impossible that one day it can such a bomb.

That’s why, for some people, they still think about tribes, ethnics. They may have same religion, but when the different tribes meet, they, especially the older think twice, are they ready to have child in law from different tribes.